music: buckwheat boys "peanut butter jelly time"

link: peanut butter jelly time

so im kinda sorta freakin out cause i haven't finished reading the soc book... all i need to do is just do the study guides... right? well... whatever... ok must get back to my studying.

BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

~ja matte!

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why'd i write this at 7:58 pm?

music: violent femmes "blister in the sun"

i finished my second final... bio96... what a relief... time to go back to sleep...

...can't update much now... having too much fun (w/ finals?) lol.

~ja matte!

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why'd i write this at 10:37 pm?

music: tchaikovsky "piano concerto no 1"

so today was a lot more eventful than the whole week.

today i got to go to sierra to actually help someone out on their chem homework and the chem lab final... for me, i feel really proud that i could do that, cause it made me feel really smart and that people really look up to me for answers... it made me feel like the nerd i was back in high school... yay!

well also during that sierra trip, another thing happened (a lot of things happened over there... but i won't get into that detail). for some reason i was hanging around someone's room and they had visitors from their old high school... they wanted to say what's up and everything. They were two girls, both from college, and one of them especially ticked me off the most. she goes to a southern school and she's telling his friend not to turn gay on her. she even said that she saw one of her friends on one of those TV dating shows and she was digusted and felt like not being friends with the guy because he choose another guy to be his date on that show. i was aghast. i was even more aghast at the current sierran's inability to shut her up. i felt like standing up, giving her one across the face and saying: "look bitch, you've been in college for at least one year and you're still ignorant, racist, and homophobic... you need a REACH session" (but everyone knows i wouldn't do that). fortunately for her, she wasn't anyone i knew, so i didn't do anything. sierra made realize how some people can still be so ignorant even after they've been exposed to college... considering college can be the most liberating thing people would do with their lives.

well... off to bed now. got a chem lab final tomorrow, so wish me luck! (btw, new blog pic -->)

~ja matte!

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why'd i write this at 2:35 am?

music: dc talk "supernatural"

im actually surprised at myself... i am actually studying before the finals... usually i am a procrastinator and i usually wait till the last minute to study for finals... at least since my last year in high school... maybe i was feeling a sort of "senioritis" for college my first 1.5 years... im in a good position for all my subjects... i am able to get at least a "B" in all of my subjects if i do well in all my finals...

ken had his 21st b'day party. it was cool and fun and stuff... but i ended up being a chaufeur again... i don't have a problem with being one, especially when one of the people im taking home is drunk, but it kinda sucks that you got shafted cause the person who was supposed to take them home felt like he was too drunk so he went home (with his car... a friend was driving) without even telling his rideshare (lol) people that he's leaving... i guess its kinda karma then cause last thursday i kinda did the same thing cause i needed to go to the double impact party cause i was in BOARD. but this was worse. ah well... i won't have it against him... he's a good guy anyway.

so... spop letters should be coming out tomorrow or the day after... im just as nervous as last year, but if i don't get it, ill be okay with it, cause i had the experience last year and that there's always next year.

we're running out of food fast at the apartment so for my contribution to the apartment, i took a generous amount of napkins from a restaurant so we wouldn't use so much paper towels. whatever.

woo hoo... time for some more webwork.

~ja matte!

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why'd i write this at 8:27 pm?

music: kylie minogue "burning up"

so i figure i need to get at least 47 points to get full credit on my chem web homework... so that figures out to about 11 or so assignments (assuming they're all late)... so i can skip three... but which one to pick, idk! its soo hard cause many of these assignments are damn impossible w/ the lectures i had from doherty... she didn't teach us enough... like no example questions... basically, doherty just picked the surface and never really gotten into the details; and when she did, she'd just confuse the hell outta us. so if i do like at least one webwork a day, i should be okay... AND then its the chem lab final. my brain's gonna explode.

i saw that one girl from the bookstore at church again... that's all i have to say. :op

~ja matte!

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why'd i write this at 8:23 pm?

music: weezer "dope nose"

okay, so i haven't updated for like FOREVER... i went to one of my 'blog' favorites, and one them said that she might go to hiatus... that would best describe what i was doing for the past couple of weeks. but yeah... too much was just happening that i didn't have any time to add it into the bliggy-blog.

for the past week i've been borrowing my lil bro's car b/c mine got a flat (pssh) and i had much fun with it :op... nothing like going down the 73 at about 85-100 mph (and no cops!). school's almost done for the quarter and im starting to worry. things are just going too fast, and i told myself that i would be kicking this quarter's ass, but its not quite doing it (remember the "vince comeback"?)... all of my subjects rests on how well i do on my finals. i really don't want to get 'just passing' grades, especially if i want to try out for *ahem* SIERRA RA next year... i guess next year its no club positions and all academics...

im getting into this OPM/karaoke kind of phase where i just start singing every song i hear. damn puso potluck! singing really keeps my mood up and it feels real good.

my ate from the philippines is here, and its tough to communicate w/ her cause she recently had a stroke and its hard for her to speak. i remember when i was in the phil. we always stayed at their place and we'd go to the SM Mega-mall one day and i'd get black boogers cause of all that smog from the Manila traffic.

i had a talk w/ bryant 2 days ago (he was kinda drunk, however) and i agree w/ him: he's not going to pursue any girls in college and if any girl wants him that badly, then she should try and get him. the last time he tried so hard to get a g/f and lost so much energy and work in the process.

as usual, i was thinking about changing the layout again for spring, but i have no ideas on what to do... but yeah, i like my current design; maybe ill just change the color scheme or something... maybe even redo the css in here cause the coding is very sloppy cause it was my first attempt. anyhoo... yeah i need to get started w/ my online homework for chemistry. STUPID DOHERTY. ill get to that story in a later time :op...

~ja matte!

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why'd i write this at 7:12 pm?

music: missy elliott "4 my people"

gosh... haven't updated since forever. or maybe since v-day. my last post seemed really really bad and sad, maybe i worded it a litte worse than i'd like to. but one thing's for sure... its getting really really hard to be optimistic nowadays... but we did have a really good s.a.d. party though... got some mary j. from my friend and we took some sierrans out... we didn't even finish the damn thing...

so i've also come to a realization that girls are evil and complicated and shouldn't be dealt with at all. ill just be disinterested in girls entirely. so ill stop looking for people... if a girl really wants me, she'll be the one asking me out, cause ill be the one playing hard to get. (a la ryan... wink)

...those cigarettes are getting outta hand... i have a new smoking buddy now :) and every time we were @ her apt. to make lumpia, we smoked out at her porch... i also smoked w/ bryant... got me to freakin' chain smoke (only 2 though) freakin' 100s... christ. my smoking buddy says that you start getting addicted after the 100th cigarette... okay... that makes like 40 to go.

my computer finally died on me. i was kinda expecting it since my computer was crashing at least once or twice a day. i mostly formatted the computer and i went back to good 'ol win2k. still got me dope-ass mp3's though ;D im glad i got to remove all those pr0n .mpg's and all those spyware cookies (jk... really.)

so greg is gonna live w/ us by about next week or next-next week... ryan told me this, but retrospectively, i think greg was also giving me hints that he wanted to move in cause of all that praise about our apt. and stuff... but yeah... im planning to move to sol&kev's side and use the living room for desk space... greg's moving in shouldn't be a problem.

i really should get back to studying... i have a chem midterm tomorrow. argh.

~ja matte!

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why'd i write this at 9:47 pm?

music: james taylor "you've got a friend"

for me, today was like the worstest valentine's day ever. i thought last year was bad, but this just sucked. yeah... i wasn't on campus for a long time or whatever... i did see a good amount of couples expressing their affection to the public, but for some reason, i felt a little disgusted about everything today... when i was done w/ lab, i went home, i was just tired w/ everything... played my coldplay songs (esp. shiver) and for some reason... i don't know why, but i cried myself to sleep. and i slept until ryan/greg came back. so i think im just not feeling to great. just disgusted about s.a.d. day. jealous? of course... ive been w/o a date... ive never even been on a date w/ anyone for my whole lifetime. and people around me are couples... im sorry, but i feel pathetic, inadequate, and just bad feeling. i guess v-day just made it a little more worse.

bye. tonight im gonna smoke out w/ greg and some sierrans... that should put me out of my misery for some time...

~ja matte!

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why'd i write this at 11:53 pm?

music: coldplay "sparks"

so SAD is tomorrow... Singles Awareness Day. hate it. not w/ a passion, but just hate it. ive sent out valentines to people, but im for sure certain that i won't get any back... oh woe is me.

so along w/ all those personality tests that the apartment's been doing, kevin showed me a personality disorder test... now i took this test twice and another test once (just to make sure) and that test says that i have high schizotypal tendencies... that leads to mild schitzophrenia... i still think its wrong, but those little voices in my head are telling me that they are probably right... **ahh!** i don't know what to think anymore... maybe i never knew what to think about my whole life, but this time seemed to be a little clearer? see. i don't even know what i was talking about in my last sentence... argh.

well anyway... coming here to irvine i too have seen and felt many many a-people who are just plain fake. its amazing how people can go to such lengths to do (or not do, or mess up) things... my good 'ol TAPS friends showed me this while we were making lumpia ;). for me, one of my biggest fears is having the appearance of being fake. i often wonder if the things im doing is giving off the impression that im fake... like im just doing this for my resume. that's something i really don't want people to presume about me.

today is ash wednesday (pretty early for the lent season, imo)... this year im giving up anything that has a drive thru... i mean like any restaurant chain that has a drive thru in most of their restaurants. yea. lent will be interesting.

oh woe woe is me. (doubling word for emphasis)

~ja matte!

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why'd i write this at 10:01 am?

music: P.O.D. "alive"

i need more pants. my old ones are... old.

~ja matte!

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why'd i write this at 1:10 pm?

music: faith evans "i love you"
googlewhack: mandrakes lobotomies
link: seizure bots

so im at home home writing this.

so i also haven't updated in a while... just was like... "ah, later." but yeah... a lot has been happening this week.

im sooo happy that im at home now. my mom came back from the phil (but my dad just left for the phil today) and she brought my lola and lolo and one of my aunties... she hasn't been here cause she's been denied a visa for 6 times... the seventh time was finally a charm. yeah, it was good having everyone in the house (for only 3 hours though) all at once. it was cool, i got to utilize all that taps/sic stuff and speak pseudo-taglish (more like 1/4 tagalog than anything else) to my brothers and annoy the hell outta them. score! jk.

cornrows are great! its a good conversation piece, AND it attracts girls! haha woohoo! its kinda superficial of me, but if i could have cornrows w/o consequences... like being able to take showers and everything, i'd have 'em every day... the attention it brings is just amazing.

i don't know what im thinking anymore... ive told hoony, ryan, karl, and now the rest of the pusoboard guys. and i really don't know where i want this to head. im having so many more dreams about how it could be, yet so many people are telling me to kinda hold off cause the consequence would be too harsh. but i can't. im blind. and i want to see where it goes. yeah, its sucking massively this time, just cause i can't get focused on my studies as well as i would like to be. like that happy hardcore song, "baby when i see you smile"... that's me right now.

on venting out my anger dept.: (that's soooo dvorak :P) i HATE my chem teacher. she treats us like we're 3rd graders and she doesn't even cover the material well... im better off reading the damn book. she just makes it sound sooo complicated. i.e. molecular orbitals aren't that bad, but it takes her two hours and tons of brain power to digest what she's trying to say...

whoops, typo! the kabamodern song is actually dj shadow "organ donor". i said some odd time ago that it was swollen members "fuel injected", but just wanted to let y'all know (if anyone cared).

im also soo glad the puso g.meeting went well. yeah, it was kinda rough preparing it, and just thinking about the meeting made my spine tingle, but in the end, it worked... we didn't have a speaker or anything, but we had lots of fillers... like "massage breaks (just freestyle massage each other)" and a good game of babo. sure, we did it a little wrong (smack on the beat, guys!) but we had hella fun. and we got lots of pics, which is also hella good. my whole thinking was that since it was midterms week, and since people were stressin' about midterms, then stress relief in any way would be good. so i guess the whole chill down freestyle massage/fun meeting deal kinda worked (in my eyes at least).

im also stoked that my puso pal will be at the p³ (puso pal potluck) this friday! woo hoo! and... im finally off the sigep mail server!!! no more 10+ emails about whining every day! (yea random). okay, i believe i said enough...

...wait... yeah my brothers and i had a revelation. there's such thing as a "vince speak". i even do it while im typing... typing what i say in my head. kinda not editing and stuff... but yeah (<--v.s. right there) i do it all the time. im sure eveyone else probably heard me do it. that's just how my weird and freaky and odd and crazy and scary my brain works. ok enough for now. peace.

~ja matte!

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why'd i write this at 12:08 am?

music: inoj "love you down"

googlewhack (multiwhack: c,d,e): caffeine drapes effervescence

so far, i still kind feel "irregular". for me, i have this thing w/ my stomach. it never seems to agree w/ cheese pizza. yesterday, we had pizza for lunch, but i was like, "why not? a slice wouldn't hurt" but on my way to irvine after dropping off my bro, i got the runs. went four times before intervening w/ immodium ADVANCED and a bottle of water. right now, im still getting the "masakit ang tiyan ko! oww!" deal, but its tolerable. i guess i have something similar to a menstural cycle for women cause i seem to have at least one of these a month... but unlike women it doesn't last for a week. :)

these cornrows are giving me a headache. nah... not that it hurts... im used to it... just that it freakin itches like hell... angel told me that her friend used like an oil thing to clean it, but how would that work? but yeah, itchy itchy... im getting flakes! oh no! i never get flakes... and when i scratch, i get this weird white gunk... disguuuusting... maybe i shouldn't have told you (or me) that. im getting amy to fix up one of my braids cause its getting loose... you can probably see it on the webcam... the one on my far right, but more than anything... i just wanna take it off by at least wednesday!

i had lots else to say, but its all gone now... nuts.

~ja matte!

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why'd i write this at 9:29 pm?